A Note to My Future Self

After so many posts (or should I say rants?) about life in my mid-twenties and my fragile mentality, I decided to spare you readers and talk about something else today: risk, and whether or not you should take it. Even though the word “risk” weighs differently in every situation, I promise to keep the powwow as general as possible. A breath of fresh air… finally.

It all happened a few weeks ago when I was scrolling through Instagram (that app is now the very definition of haphazard video compilations, just as we all are aware). A random reel popped up all of a sudden, piquing my interest for the topic it chose to represent, where a woman sat in the car and admitted that divorce was the only thing she kept thinking about on her wedding day. As she was saying her vow though, she realized that no matter what happened in the future, she would never, ever regret the day she decided to marry the man she loved so much.

Something about the stranger’s words tingled something in meor maybe it was her honesty that truly did itbut whichever it was didn’t really matter. What actually made her short monologue all the more impressive was the fact that I had been pondering over the same topic a few days prior, and it was very typical of me to be afraid to take such big risks.

Now, I don’t believe coincidences really exist. How I think it works instead: small things are staged by the universe to orchestrate their play on somebody’s life. Even when some scenes don’t go beyond merely happening, the core of their existence, I believe, is to either teach us a lesson or leave us another good memory. Like the time you blabber excitedly about something that backfires, or when you are paired for a random assignment with the boy across the room you have a crush on.

That being said, the aforementioned video felt more like a wake-up call than a random content I found on the internet. Questions swirled in my mind: Is falling in love worth the heartbreak that might or might not follow? Is quitting the company you’re currently working for to start a new business worth the miscalculation it might or might not cost? Is getting promoted worth all the big responsibilities that will soon fall upon you?

I honestly think that in some cases, they are not. It takes a great deal of bravery to desire something and make it happen no matter the risks. I don't think I own even a drop of it. But then again, the woman in the video was right. You've got to take chances sometimes, and life is too short to always wonder about the almost-have-been. Just as she implied it best: rather savor the moment for what it is right now and face the consequences later than nothing at all.

I wish that kind of courage could be easily summoned like a raise of hand in your favorite bistro requesting a glass of water. I wish that I could be braver to take the chances life offers, and that dealing with thousand possibilities will become easier over time. I wish that one day, when I open this blog and reread this very post, I will look back and smile at the choices I made, without acknowledging the path they have led me into.